June 01, 2006

Controllable Anger

“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. Regret and guilt can take up and literally waste hundreds of hours of your time; self-discipline only takes a few seconds. An ounce of “bite-my-tongue” outweighs a ton of “I am-so-sorries.” One test of our size and maturity is what makes us angry —and how we express our anger.

A boiling temper can escalate into an argument or a shouting match where both parties walk away having accomplish nothing and feeling worse. Like any other emotion, anger has a toxic way of infecting others directly or indirectly. It’s unrealistic to try to be pleasant every second of the day but whenever you feel like your on the verge of getting angry, stop and ask yourself two questions: Is this really worth getting angry about and will I still be angry about this 6 months from now?

If you answer "no" to both of those questions you shouldn’t get angry. Though, if you answer, “yes” you need to do something also- use your words rather than your voice. State exactly how you're feeling in a direct, non-emotional way. People will listen to you more readily than if you are shouting at them.

Another way to diffuse anger is to gain a new perspective on the events that upset you by reminding yourself everything happens for a reason and that reason is for me to learn from the event.