March 26, 2007

Dealing with the Passing of a Loved One

Today I'm making a very special post to help others who are going through the loss of a loved work their way through the coping process better and hopefully come out with a different view about how to handle the coping process in the future.

Sunday I got word a close relative had passed away after battling with failing health and old age for a couple of years.

While I was expecting this news I didn't expect it so soon. Over the past week I've been coping with their passing and have accepted they are gone. But one thought helped me turn around my initial feelings of shock and then sorrow and turn those feelings into strength and even now closure. That thought was "honor their life by continuing to live yours and striving to reach your goals."

A day after I got the news I was in shock and I was walking around like a stoic shell. The morning process is believed to have eight stages. I'm sure I went through at least 3 or 4 in a couple of days. I shut down for a while and so did my business, at the time I didn't want to do much of anything. Until I that thought occurred to me. Life is meant to be lived.

Let me just say I'm not advocating going around with a stiff upper lip and pretending the loved one isn't gone. Denial will only cause more problems. It's O.K. to mourn and cry. Those feelings are normal and must be released because if they are kept bottled up they will come out in the form of negative energy in the future.

Everyone handles the process differently and it takes each person a different amount of time to go through it. Though, the mourning process shouldn't cripple you and bring your life to a stand still. Life must go on.

My relative led a very active life well into her old age and went on cruises, traveled around the world, and just generally acted younger than her actual age. She would appreciate a little mourning but wouldn't want my family to stop living their lives and spend weeks on end as sad drones. She would want us living our lives to their fullest, feeling good and just being happy.

The way we think about the passing of a loved one can all be changed by a shift in our mindset about the event. Instead of mourning over their loss you should celebrate not only their lives but also your life. Life is meant to be lived. A loss shouldn't be seen as a loss but as a rebirth, a rebirth of yourself. You come out on the other side of the mourning process a changed person with a different perspective.

So if your going through the mourning process it's okay to feel sad and to cry but don't be crippled by the feeling of loss. Continue to live your life. Live it better than before because life is meant to be lived to it's fullest in all aspects.

So make that phone call to that old friend, meet new people, spark up a romantic relationship, travel, go after your financial goals and just live life the way it was meant to be lived; to its fullest.

Go forward. We'll have more next time.

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